Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Mama Laadis part three: A surrogate mother


Mama Laddi asked me while I was feeding Alfie (and clearly very quickly becoming besotted with this adorable little boy – she’s astute!), if I would ‘send him’ for the weekend so they could rest ‘small small’.  What she meant was, would I babysit him at my house for 48 hours so they can sleep.  I said yes.  Of course I said yes!
Friday couldn’t have come sooner for me, two reasons; the court case and ‘picking’ Alfie.  The court case (unsurprisingly) was a wash out.  The Judge had travelled to Accra for a (what seems like two week) conference so court was adjourned until 19th October.  I couldn’t care less. Electricity was off at work so I picked up Alfie early, around midday.  As soon as I got there Mama Laadi asked if she should pack the bag!  We were gone in half an hour and on the road home.  Formula, nappies, clothes etc strapped to the back of the moto and Alfie strapped to the front in a child’s sling far too big for him.  I vowed then to learn to back babies the African way.  I have to say, I turned a few heads on that journey home.  A white woman with a baby is one thing, but carrying it on the front of the body *big shock!* and what with him covered in a white cloth like a child of Michael Jacksons (to avoid the sun not the paps) I looked like one hell of a crazy white woman.
It’s been a reality check looking after a baby in Africa with all its nuances; washing clothes by hand daily, bathing in a bucket twice daily (it’s the sweat!), sterilizing equipment (genius idea to bring Milton sterilizing tablets even if I do say so myself… it’s as if I knew!!), lights out with a baby, spinach surprise as opposed to chicken korma poo (that involved a quick internet search just to make sure all was well…), makeshift changing mats, avoiding mosquito’s… the list goes on. The best reality check? Knowing you are not alone. For ’this is Ghana’. One big community, friends and close neighbours willingly lending a hand, either physical or metaphorically to help the crazy white woman (now dubbed Mama Ellie) with her black baby.  Learning how to back him was an experience and provided much entertainment, wonder and surprise for my friends and local community.  Backing him is like a sedative for him; as soon as he’s in and snugly, he’s sparko.  Bloody marvellous!  It’s all gone surprisingly well really, apart from my own paranoia and internal dialogue when I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night... 'Is he still breathing?' *I hold breath and simultaneously poke Alfie*, [Alfie moves abruptly], *I breathe again* ‘oh, thank goodness…'





Two days later and some mammoth sleeps (from Alfie, not me) and I had to ‘send him’ back.  Hanana’s compound was super sad to see him go…Boris however was not.  Nose well and truly out of joint. So much so, he roamed and came back at the end of the weekend stinking like an open African drain. I backed Alfie to the home, the African way, which received even more attention than the first moto ride and managed to let go of him, just, and hand him back to his Laadi family.  Mama Laadi spoke of ‘sending him home’ with me - AKA adoption, and I left safe in the knowledge I’d already thought of that option… See you on Wednesday Alfie : ) 

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