Tuesday 27 September 2011

I’m on a mission to sort this house out.

We’ve had the electrician round to fix the lighting on the veranda.  Phoned early am on Saturday and he was round to look at the job an hour later and back with the bits shortly afterwards….5 cedis for two bulbs and a light fitting and 5 cedis for the 5 minutes it took him to install it.  Shocked, normally these things take so long.  I’ve swept the roof terrace and removed the clumps of grass growing up there, I wanted to sun bathe but the winds picked up (I got a big lump of something sharp  in my eye) and then the rains came, still looks like I cleared the drainage holes…

Next on the list is the toilet seat which sits precariously on the pan and if you’re a little bit sweaty leaves the pan when your arse does and unsticks from your arse with a clatter thus allowing the whole house to know the toilet seat was stuck to your arse.  Unfortunately the local plumbing merchant only has black seats.  I’ve been told mossies are attracted to black and what with the fact it’s difficult to see how clean it actually is when it’s black I’m waiting for the white ones to come back in.  That happens a lot in Bolga.  Things run out.  Hananah had run out of tuna and sardines the other day, the whole of Bolga ran out of gas not long ago.  Quite often when something starts running out, we’ve heard all shops run out as there is a mad rush for it.  Must have been a mad rush on white toilet seats.  Do you know the price of a toilet seat is 10 cedis?  The same price as it costs for a man to fix two outdoor light fittings….  That’s very approximately 5 pounds sterling and my daily allowance in Ghana.  When you start to figure out how much things like that cost you begin to realise why people live the way they do here. They have no choice.  Who needs a toilet seat when it costs 10 cedis and you could feed your family for a week. (apart from me of course). 
I’m done with propping up a bucket full of water against the bathroom door and gazing expectantly through the hole the missing handle has left to see who passes while I sit on the seat which attaches itself with the upmost adhesion to your arse…. George is the provider of all things wooden and he wil,l I have been told by his good self, be around to fix the offending door today.
The subsidence and the damp, well, they’ll have to wait, not sure it’s in my remit for this year.  I live in hope the house will simple remain standing.
I discovered, when unpacking the four biggest, deepest cupboards I’ve ever seen (it’s where my gecko lives), that Antony had left me a whole array of DIY bits and bobs.  The most exciting for me was not the machete but the hammer.  Super design.  Looks like it’s been fashioned out of two bits of an old iron bar dad would use on the building site.  Of course I’ve used it.  Had to!  My mossie net frame was coming away from the bed.  Any excuse.
I’ve also found the small science equipment stash; a test tube, syringes, various materials, tonnes of thermometers, some electronics equipment, meths, vinegar, zinc sulphate, glycerine, indicator papers and some batteries.  I’m no expert but I’m sure mixed in the right way that stuff could do some damage!

No comments:

Post a Comment