The prosecutor and the prosecuted…and the farce that is the Ghanaian Legal system.

I was asked by Goswin the CID officer to go to see the prosecutor on Friday, unfortunately, due to a house full of builders this was not possible so a time was arranged for Sunday.  Why I needed to go wasn’t clear.  I arrived unable to shake his hand as it was a stump… awkward (even more awkward given the culture not having a right hand…) He proceeded to ask me that in court, if he was to ask me if I knew the accused, what would I say.  I told him I would say I didn’t. ‘NO! You must say you know him, you have met him, so this must be so’.  It was clear I was to take the stand.. Christ knows why, I wasn’t even there.  He proceeded to tell me that I needed to ensure I gave detail, for detail is important in the court; dates, explanations of acronyms and so on.  It wasn’t until her was finished that he told me Leela would be on the stand too and he had to tell her the same thing… so why not save time and tell us both together???? I was about to meet her, so called her to come and hear the ‘prosecutor’s talk’.  The court hearing was set for Tuesday.

So, Tuesday 18^th September was always going to be an interesting day…. Just never realised it would only be an interesting half an hour.  We, Leela and I, had both been called to take the stand.  We were told to be there at 8.30 as we shouldn’t be late… court opens at 9am… at 9.40 the mood changed, we were told to stand and be silent for the judge presiding.  40 mins late isn’t too bad here. We both simultaneously looked at each other and tried not to laugh out loud at the judge who had just walked in.  His wig looked like it has once belonged in a fancy dress shop, having been an old grannies wig in a previous life and recently retrieved from a zoomlion wheelie bin (our local rubbish collection service)…. I remember once being at a Christmas concert in a church with my friends and trying desperately to suppress my laughing - I can’t even remember how it started, all I know is… I couldn’t stop.  I couldn’t look at Leela for fear of being in the same situation whilst taking the stand.  As it turns out taking the stand was never going to happen.  Significant holes in the case summary paper which had been given to the judge was the cause; vital details missing… oh the irony given our pep talk from the prosecutor.  Case adjourned until the next day.

Wednesday we were told to arrive at the same time, thing is, this time ours was not the first case to be heard (you’ll be pleased to hear the judge had the same wig, slightly disappointed he doesn’t have a collection; ginger, black…….).  Unfortunately Wednesday was as much of a farce as the day before.  We just had to watch a few more farces before our case got heard ... The day started with a case where 4 were in the dock together.... a bit extreme I thought, until the next case was called... 5 in the dock this time (just).... the next case had an amazing 8 people in the dock (well in the dock and just outside - even with the love of Ghanaian's invading personal space they couldn't all quite fit in)... should’ve been a Jeremy Kyle episode… shocking.  They all seemed to be being adjourned for one reason and another.  It was all a little difficult to follow what with a mixture of Ghanaian English and local languages being spoken. Evils were obviously flying towards White Spot (I've a very scary stare!) whilst thinking carefully about how it would be possible to castrate the bastard and get away with it.... Our case was adjourned. AGAIN…. so that the remaining details in the paperwork could be righted.  

My VSO penguin tells me there is a possibility of bribery and corruption by the prosecuted family which is halting the case in favour of the prosecuted.  The thinking being that it will be halted so many times I’ll give up.  I feel like a dog with a bone right now so I wish them luck and hope they are spending loads of cedi in the process. I'm going to walk through the paperwork with CID inspector tomorrow... I reckon even with my non-existent legal experience I can do a better job than they can.... maybe on Oct 5th the bastard will finally get sent down... in the mean time I rest easy in the fact he's in that hideous rat infested police cell practically naked with a million other men...

Sorry no pictures, I was sorely tempted to get a ‘snap’ of the judges wig to prove my description, alas, Leela put the kibosh on it thinking I may be in contempt of court…. You’ll have to make do with the descriptive (and accurate) written explanation.