The ‘f**k off’ vibe.

It would appear it is forever with me, even in Ghana. 

I was told in various training sessions to ‘keep your wits about you’.  It’s a well-used phrase of my mother’s too and generally means ‘keep your knickers on’, a phrase which sometimes follows the first with my mother, for extra emphasis. ‘Those Ghanaian men love a bit of fat on a girl’ I remember one girl tell me in training.  She told me she had refused Ghana as a placement because of what she had heard about Ghanaian men and ‘big’ girls.  She was a ‘big’ girl… and so am I.  So, in a very strange way, after all the preparing; the role playing with Liam (AKA moto training partner) on how to answer ‘are you married?’,  with ’ I am not really interested’ etc, etc. I’m miffed. Miffed as I have had exactly zero attention.  I am surrounded by solomeas receiving the well-practiced lines....  It’s that horrible, you want what you can’t have situation…. But if you had it, would you want it?

Only the other day a VSO colleague was asked by the DVLA boss man for her number (he was old and sweaty…and hairy). She cunningly asked if it was dependent on her getting her licence in a jokey manner (although the way we are feeling regarding our licences at the moment anyone of us, male or female, might consider selling our bodies to get one).  He replied it wasn’t and she offered her      e mail address, which I though was a smooth move, so not to upset the man who has control (however, given the following DVLA postponements maybe she should have just given him her number….  It’s far too easy to become part of the corruption here…).

Another VSO colleague who is the essence of ‘petit’ in both height and stature gets the most attention… where’s the big girl love I ask myself…

This of course should not be a surprise as I have had pretty much zero attention in the UK over the years, or at least too little to write home about. So in the process of analysing every given detail of my life, I asked myself why? (I’m doing that a lot recently) and came up with three possible reasons;

1.       I am the most unattractive solomea here.

2.       I’m just too big, even for a Ghanaian man (Kwame – my washer man has given me evidence for this, let’s just say he describes me as the ‘fat’ one….)

3.       I am giving the biggest ’f**k off’ vibe ever. 

I’m plumping for number 3 as the others will leave me emotionally scarred…..